Konnikova Revision

Before: While it helped me with all those things it is a double-edged sword because although it helped me connect with some, the people who do not use social media are left out of the connection and makes me feel like I’m missing out on friendship just because I don’t have them on social media.

Revised: While using social media has helped me keep my friendships with my people from Vietnam, California, the U.K, Germany, and other places, it can also be an unbelievably evil tool. You are sitting on the couch watching “Black Mirror” and suddenly you get a call from a supposed “apple tech support agent” asking you security questions and the next thing you know you no longer have any social media accounts of your own. I get why people do not like social media because there is so much not to like. Like the example I said above people have a strong reason to not use it however that does not mean it is all bad.

I used more specific locations instead of just saying around the world and I think that shows that you can connect to others, and it is a useful tool to do so with. It also made it easier to add an example that has almost happened to a lot of us and incorporated a popular tv show which hopefully made this argument easier to connect with. It did however lengthen my paragraph quite a bit