Ross Gay Reading Questions
Respond, in your own words, and referencing your own experiences, to the validity of Gay’s question: “What if joy and pain are fundamentally tangled up with one another?”
I think that pain and joy are related to each other. I think this because I have experienced it when my grandfather almost died. It was quite sudden but there was a problem with a vein pumping to his heart. It was clogged and they had to replace it. It was one of the scariest things so far. When he got better, I couldn’t describe the joy I felt when I heard that everything was okay. It goes the other way as well. With joy comes sorrow. A little under two years ago, my uncle died in his sleep. I did not find out until after a football game, and I went home and cried. He has twins who are now eight, and the joy they brought into each others lives was immense. It was a hard thanksgiving but we were there for them and always will be.
Gay advocates that we “lay down our swords and invite sorrow in.” What does he mean? Do you agree? Why or why not?
I absolutely agree with that, there is nothing wrong with letting other people see what has been eating at you, as long as you don’t put it on them. As soon as you put your sorrow on someone else it is not okay. If they happen to want to help, then I say that it is okay but never force your sorrows onto someone who isn’t willing to help you.
What, very specifically, incites joy in your life? Make a specific/descriptive list of at least ten things: the moment just before my favorite band walks on stage; walking through crunchy leaves; the feeling after a difficult but fruitful conversation, etc. Be as specific as possible.
- Spending time with my family no matter how annoying they can be
- listening to my favorite song Strawberries by Caamp
- Waking up at 6:00 AM and going to walk & fish the river with my dad and three brothers.
- boating on Newfound lake which I went to every summer for my entire life.
- Eating with friends And talking about stupid things that make us laugh
- Trying new things (most times)
- Jumping off of high things into water (bridges, cliffs, waterfalls)
- traveling with my family on the insane trips to explore different parts of the country and world.
- when everyone is on the couch watching tv
- winning
What do you notice about your list? What does the list reveal about you and the ways in which you engage with the world?
I find the most joy when I am with my family and friends. I think it is because the connections I make with people doesnt fade easily. When I make a friend, we are friends that don’t have to talk and nothing would change, but we talk because we want to. Because it is fun to have people other than your family to laugh and share experience with.
